Saturday, January 3, 2009

Ever wonder about the past?

Ok so tonight's post is just a little different not so much about kids or ttc. but about what could have been, has there ever been someone in your life that you never relized how important they were or how much you needed them untill they were gone? not nessceraly desceased gone but just not an every day part of it, you go from talking every day and laughing and visting with each other to hardly ever speaking, I have and It bothers me, I poured my heart out long ago but was to late, i know silly cheesy story that you hear in movies or books sad part is I get to live it....Yes I love my kids and my life,I love my Husband so dont get me wrong there, and had things not gone the way they did I would not have what I have or be where I am but there are still times where my heart hurts and I wonder what if! what if I had fought a little harder to keep them in my life, but then I guess if I had I wouldnt be here I wouldnt be me now would I? I heard a song yesterday that triggered all these thoughts and I thought I would share it here,

If youre not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If youre not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I dont need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I dont need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If youre not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If youre not for me then why do I dream of you

I dont know why youre so far away
But I know that this much is true
Well make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in youre the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether its wrong or right
And though I cant be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I dont want to run away but I cant take it, I dont understand
If Im not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?

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1 comment:

Helene said...

Ahhhh Daniel Beddingfield, now what ever happened to him? he used to be one of favourite artists. I know he had an accident a while back, and didn't he try to make a come back but failed? Shame!!
I often think of what might have been hun, in fact i contacted an old boyfriend of mine shortly after marrying (purely out of curiosity) and we actually met up, and do you know during that meet, i realised i was SOOOO over him, he was rude, arrogant, and so full of himself, i didnt like the person he had become one bit. The trouble was, over the years i had put him on a pedestal, fantasising how good things would be if we were still together, so it was a bump back down to reality when i realised what he was like. And to think we nearly had a baby together!!!!
Not saying it would be the same for you, just giving my experience :-)

Helene

January 24, 2009 at 5:31 AM

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