Dissapointed but I should be used to it!!

When will I learn? Thanksgiving is coming at the end of the month and my Mom said she was going to be here,well now she calls me today and say's that she wont be here till the 29th or 30 blowing the plans I had for making dinner and spending some time with her. Not that I am not used to this but when will I learn? when will I stop feeling like that stupid 10 year old little girl waiting for her mom to show up and then she never does? I am tired of feeling stepped on. My siblings she never lets them down always me always! she has done this to me since I was 6yrs old!!! you would think I would know by now after 21yrs not to get my hopes up to know that she is going to let me down again and again! I just dont understand her. I think back and every memory I have of her is one of dissapointment I barely know the women I lived with my father from the time I was 4 on and she never came to see me ever and every time she said she would she would flake out or not show up and I'd be sitting there waiting for her to come. I hate feeling like that little kid all over again. I guess eventually I will learn to stop hoping for the impossible that I will never have the mom I hoped for, all I can do is learn from this and pray I never make one of my kids feel this way that they will always know that they matter and that I will always follow through on what I tell them! Always!!!